Saturday, 17 October 2015

3 Ridiculous Ways You Use Your Phone Today. No 1 Ruins Your Sex Life.

Addicted to your phone? Don't pretend. You think of your phone the same way Batman does his utility belt; like a Russian Swiss army knife with terminator like geo-morphing capabilities, equipped to handle any and every situation and never, ever, EVER to be left alone.

But have you taken it to the next level? Some creative geniuses of the modern era are leaving bystanders trembling in their wake as they invent new unheard of uses for their phones. Here are 3 examples for you, are you familiar with any of them?

1. Phubbing - The Act of Snubbing Someone In Favour Of Your Phone

In a recent study by Baylor University, 37% people reported feeling depressed after being ‘phubbed’ by their partner. Too cool to talk to the flesh and bone next to them, Phub Phantoms prefer to use their phones to engage in digital masterclasses of self-aggrandising social exclusivity. Steve Jobs would be so proud.

Not Surprisingly at all, male and female partners alike continue to respond negatively to being spurned in favour of online whores friends. This behaviour impacts negatively on relationships, causing couples to fall out and much less sex to be had worldwide. ‘Phubbers’ remain shocked.

Visit Stop Phubbing for detailed statistics on this growing epidemic.

Sound like anyone you know?

2. Mobile-Phoning  - Pretending To Be On Your Phone To Avoid Conversation

You’ve been there. You’re in a coffee shop, or somewhere public, and suddenly someone strolls in bathed in an aura of Armageddon, blessed with the bulging beady eyes of a rapist and smelling of rotten eggs sprinkled lightly with Jurassic level dinosaur dung. How do you escape? You reach into your utility belt pocket, rip out your phone and pretend to look busy.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been guilty. I know I have.

If you’re Irish, you better have raised your hand because your government recently launched a campaign aimed at all the Mobile Phoney’s out there. They also invented some great words like Goggle-bluffing and Frummaging you need to check out.

Londoners, don’t think you’re any better, the chaos of morning seat wars on the tube has birthed a breed of Mobile Phoney’s the likes of which this world has never seen.

3. No-Loner-Ing - Strategic Use of A Phone To Avoid Being Called A Loner

You fear the dreaded Loner title. We all do. So whenever you find yourself stranded at a lonely desert conference, or nightclub, with no one at hand to save you from imminent life destroying Loner status, what do you do? Yes, you guessed it. Dive into your utility belt pocket, dig out your phone and stare at it blankly while you formulate a plan.

You ever seen these types? You often see them in clubs, in random corners, along with a whole host of other things people are generally tired of seeing in clubs.

There we have it. 3 examples of some of the new radical ways you use your phone today. What do you think of the list?

Have you ever witnessed Phubbing, Mobile-Phoning or No-Loner-Ing? Have you ever been guilty yourself?

Do you know of any more unconventional modern day uses for phones I should to add to the list?

Speaking of lists, why not check out 7 Complaints Dog Lovers Don’t Expect From Their Pets before you go? No.2 involves nudity.

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